Tags : Emergency, funny teddy bear, Teddy Bear
Posted on 02 October 2011
So….let me see if I get the order right: smoke, read catcher in the rye, get high, drink, and hang yourself? lol, nice
Misc MaryJane eh?
i think i’d need a 3rd misc. item if i was in an emergency
the ultimate douche hipster safety kit
great now the hipsters are preparing themselves for something
That’s not true hipster… there should be american spirit cigs not marlboro LOL
yup, Catcher will make you wanna kill yourself
i fingered a dog
Why is this hipster?
not hipster. hipsters would have a cooler book, you’ve probably never heard of it.
The REAL hipster book is so underground it only exists as a series of random Tweets. With a hashtag you’ve never heard of before.
if it was hipster…wouldn’t the teddy bear need some sort of scarf and nerd glasses combo?
If it were true hipster the vodka would be replaced with a can of PBR.
When I moved out to California I was enjoying some ‘Misc” myself when I decided to put together my own emergency kit for earthquakes… TP/cash/pen and paper and about an 8th of misc double ziploced inside a cookie tin. Even had to break into it the other day when I was low and it was still plenty tasty!
Pretty sure the correct way to use this emergency kit would be:
1: Take a shot of the vodka.
2: Smoke one of the misc items.
3: Smoke a cig.
4: Finish vodka.
5: Another cig(because by now you’re feeling something from the alcohol and misc item that if you’re a smoker you’ll want even more nicotine.
6: Finish the second misc item.
7: Read Catcher in the Rye
8: Use Breath Spray, gotta cover up that misc, cig, and vodka smell for..
9: Take flashlight and condom and go hunting for some sex.
10: Die happy as the loose bricks crush you after you pass out underneath that damaged building.
Sure, the rope and book don’t seem to fit into the mix of ‘refreshments.’
But why is it all in a teddy bear?
@Davis Well, the reason why it’s in Teddy Bear is for two reasons, A) The innocence of it (who’d expect that all to be in a teddy bear if they were searching your stufff???) and B) if it’s a real emergency I know I’d need a teddy to squeeze tooo. : )
There in order of use as i see it, this is an amateur dating kit,
1. breath spray: because you’re breath still reeks of cafeteria food
2. flashlight: might help you stash your misc items in the dark
3. condoms: incase you actually get lucky
and then for when you don’t get lucky
4. catcher in the rye, 5 misc, 6 vodka and 7 cigarettes: all to feel better and worse simultaneously.
8. and finally the noose for if you’re still using this kit when you’re 30.
9. the teddy bear: see Ariel’s post, couldn’t have said it better myself.
Awesome! Where do I get one.
I think this kit, like all good things, should be shared-
-Smoke the misc and share the vodka with lady friend
-Apply breath spray
-Use the condom, and perhaps the rope, if one is into that sort of thing
-Post coital cigarettes/reading
perfect gift for your girlfriend. she’ll never know any of this is there this way when you fight you can take a drink, after sex, you can have a smoke, during sex you can use the condom, to get to sex you can use the breath spray, if your bored and need a romantic thing to do read the book. and for when the dad comes home early you can use the rope to climb out the window, or just replace with a had gun to make the fight even.
…………..What?………huh?………….what misc?…..wow, look at the cool colors!………
where can one be purchased
anyone that says “hipster” is just as gay as the “hipsters” you’re talking about. thats the only two times i have ever typed the word and i’ve never said it but its gay.
i think its pretty cool minus the catcher in the rye
I think its in a teddy bear so you can leave it at your significant others place of residence.
bueno. how do i order one!!!??????
Where did you buy this bear? I want one now lol
It’s the perfect pal for family visits and vacations. No matter where you are or how shitty it turns out you’ll always be fully prepared to make it through the weekend or whatever.
I think those are mariwana
goddamn phony flit…
uhhh that’s probably the LAST book I would put in an emergency kit…
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