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Emergency Teddy Bear.

Posted on 02 October 2011

33 Responses to “Emergency Teddy Bear.”

  1. funningshoes says:


    So….let me see if I get the order right: smoke, read catcher in the rye, get high, drink, and hang yourself? lol, nice

  2. Hawker78 says:

    Misc MaryJane eh?

  3. whocares says:

    i think i’d need a 3rd misc. item if i was in an emergency

  4. john clemens says:

    the ultimate douche hipster safety kit

  5. Asi ace says:

    Extremely Cool!

  6. chris says:

    great now the hipsters are preparing themselves for something

  7. reid says:

    That’s not true hipster… there should be american spirit cigs not marlboro LOL

  8. akjscf says:

    yup, Catcher will make you wanna kill yourself

  9. john clemens says:

    i fingered a dog

  10. Anon says:

    Why is this hipster?

  11. Drew says:

    not hipster. hipsters would have a cooler book, you’ve probably never heard of it.

  12. Dave says:

    The REAL hipster book is so underground it only exists as a series of random Tweets. With a hashtag you’ve never heard of before.

  13. fffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu says:

    if it was hipster…wouldn’t the teddy bear need some sort of scarf and nerd glasses combo?

  14. Matt says:

    If it were true hipster the vodka would be replaced with a can of PBR.

  15. ThatStonedGuy says:

    When I moved out to California I was enjoying some ‘Misc” myself when I decided to put together my own emergency kit for earthquakes… TP/cash/pen and paper and about an 8th of misc double ziploced inside a cookie tin. Even had to break into it the other day when I was low and it was still plenty tasty!

  16. Random says:

    Pretty sure the correct way to use this emergency kit would be:
    1: Take a shot of the vodka.
    2: Smoke one of the misc items.
    3: Smoke a cig.
    4: Finish vodka.
    5: Another cig(because by now you’re feeling something from the alcohol and misc item that if you’re a smoker you’ll want even more nicotine.
    6: Finish the second misc item.
    7: Read Catcher in the Rye
    8: Use Breath Spray, gotta cover up that misc, cig, and vodka smell for..
    9: Take flashlight and condom and go hunting for some sex.
    10: Die happy as the loose bricks crush you after you pass out underneath that damaged building.

  17. Davis says:

    Sure, the rope and book don’t seem to fit into the mix of ‘refreshments.’

    But why is it all in a teddy bear?

  18. Ariel says:

    @Davis Well, the reason why it’s in Teddy Bear is for two reasons, A) The innocence of it (who’d expect that all to be in a teddy bear if they were searching your stufff???) and B) if it’s a real emergency I know I’d need a teddy to squeeze tooo. : )

  19. Emily says:

    There in order of use as i see it, this is an amateur dating kit,
    1. breath spray: because you’re breath still reeks of cafeteria food
    2. flashlight: might help you stash your misc items in the dark
    3. condoms: incase you actually get lucky
    and then for when you don’t get lucky
    4. catcher in the rye, 5 misc, 6 vodka and 7 cigarettes: all to feel better and worse simultaneously.
    8. and finally the noose for if you’re still using this kit when you’re 30.
    9. the teddy bear: see Ariel’s post, couldn’t have said it better myself.

  20. Claire says:

    Awesome! Where do I get one.

  21. Arthur says:

    I think this kit, like all good things, should be shared-
    -Smoke the misc and share the vodka with lady friend
    -Apply breath spray
    -Use the condom, and perhaps the rope, if one is into that sort of thing
    -Post coital cigarettes/reading

  22. zulu says:

    perfect gift for your girlfriend. she’ll never know any of this is there this way when you fight you can take a drink, after sex, you can have a smoke, during sex you can use the condom, to get to sex you can use the breath spray, if your bored and need a romantic thing to do read the book. and for when the dad comes home early you can use the rope to climb out the window, or just replace with a had gun to make the fight even.

  23. Totally baffled says:

    …………..What?………huh?………….what misc?…, look at the cool colors!………

  24. bill? says:

    where can one be purchased

  25. just some guy says:

    anyone that says “hipster” is just as gay as the “hipsters” you’re talking about. thats the only two times i have ever typed the word and i’ve never said it but its gay.

  26. just some guy says:

    i think its pretty cool minus the catcher in the rye

  27. Soooo... says:

    I think its in a teddy bear so you can leave it at your significant others place of residence.

  28. megan says:

    bueno. how do i order one!!!??????

  29. jose says:

    Where did you buy this bear? I want one now lol

  30. george27 says:

    It’s the perfect pal for family visits and vacations. No matter where you are or how shitty it turns out you’ll always be fully prepared to make it through the weekend or whatever.

  31. Tim says:

    I think those are mariwana

  32. Kyle says:

    goddamn phony flit…

  33. mike says:

    uhhh that’s probably the LAST book I would put in an emergency kit…

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